recent meditations.

A line in Misty Edward's acoustic version of "Let Me Love You More" on her Unplugged edition of Relentless has been on my mind and stirring in my heart a lot lately.

"If I never walk on water, if I never see the miracles, if I never hear your voice so loud... well, just knowing that you love me is enough to keep me here, just hearing those words is enough to satisfy."

I hesitated posting this because just reading this line without hearing the song makes it seem trite, or stale I guess. But I can't get over how my love for God has changed in the past three years. I used to be so concerned with having supernatural evidence that I completely missed the point. That God loves me. That He desires me to have joy. That when He says He wants me to marvel at Him, He's talking about marveling at His love for me. Because He knows that will satisfy me more than any miracle He could perform.

How did I miss this? For seven years I've been wishing my family would realize that what I need more than money or gifts is love, support, and validation. That love is the only thing that draws me near. Why did I think it would be any different with God?

My perspective has finally begun to mature, (not that full maturity will ever succeed in this lifetime). And it's certainly by God's grace alone. He's been so patient and kind. He's not just tolerated my ignorance, but loved me extravagantly, as though I were... His own, holy and blameless. :)